2 visits, 1 path that is now clear to me
I've been living and working in the Delta since June 8th, 2010. I've visited a few people outside the Delta and entertained a few guests to help myself feel a little better when things get really stressful and I bog myself down somewhat unnecessarily. When My Dad and Diane visited two things started to change. My moodiness (which had been getting more frequent, and common for all first years) started to lift and I've realized how TFA fits my professional goals in addition to how it fits into my personal ideology. Allow me to elaborate...
Visit 1
Seeing a familiar face was nice. Seeing a familiar face that knows an incredible amount about me and how i function and can give some decent advice on life and stopping to breather was hugely helpful. I was proud to show off my school, new community, house, roommates and region to my Father and his girlfriend. I really do love a lot about this new place and I think now they do too! Plain and simple...mood was lifted by Dad's visit and a break from the grindstone.
Visit 2
This weekend I visited Syracuse. To keep things short and sweet...it was amazing to spend so much time with the ones I love and spent so much time with during college. Sam always makes my heart happy. McQueen is hilarious and tells awesome stories. Rita is my fireball and I adore her to no end. Alex, although we had only a short chat is always so encouraging and genuinely curious about new things, so sharing was a pleasure with him. Ginge and Aja...you are my loves and I appreciate all y'all do for Monkey when I'm not around :)
Clarity
When I applied to TFA and joined TFA and am asked about TFA my reason for being a part of this hugely important movement is the same. I want to be part of the people and communities that work toward getting rid of the achievement gap because i want my fellow citizens to have the same opportunities and sense of self worth and value instilled in them that i was so lucky to have given to me as a student. This is a service opportunity in my mind. I am giving back to my country in a way that I am highly skilled and quite passionate. Yes, this is a job, but this is also a learning experience for me too. Whether or not i agree with every minute detail of the TFA organization is neither here nor there...what matters is that I believe in the end goal and the foundational message. One day, all children...will be given equal access to education. Right now, that's not the case in this country. For our country to be as great as it can truly be...we must educate our children so that they may compete with leaders and competitive students across the globe. I am happy and proud to be a part of making this change...this is why, for personal reasons I've chosen to join TFA.
Professionally, I've been struggling to find a connection between this job and the career path I had in mind for myself throughout and after college. Now...clarity! I want to finish my 2 years with TFA and head myself into graduate school immediately. I want to pursue a Masters in Public Policy or Public Administration because I want to create change by fixing the internal system in the United States. I believe that we need across the board national education standards for every grade level in every subject. This is just the tip of the iceberg...but needless to say, I want to be on the inside making laws and policy that helps our children. They are our future. We are only as strong as our educated youth.
With that, I will leave you and simply say thank you to all my visitors and to my loves for helping to cheer me and helping to break me away from my gloom enough for me to find this beautiful sense of self and purpose.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Joey Pigza Looses Control! And, Ms. Poulin gains control
I have offically started my second unit. My 7th and 8th grade students are all reading a book called "Joey Pigza Looses Contro," a great book about a middle school-aged boy who goes to spend the summer with is less than dad-of-the-year qualities for the first time. Joey's mother left his father Carter, for a number of reasons but mostly because he was just like Joey, wired (had ADHD), and refused to get anything to help himself out. It is a charming, bold, and fun book and so far everyone is at least interested in the story. Joey looses control of him himself at one point, as the title foreshadows, and mayhem ensues. I cannot wait until we get to these last few chapters as a class! Lots of great discussions are ahead of us.
Ms. Poulin has finally gained control of her classes. Control beyond the "I said sit down and raise your hand" and onto "wow! you are all really learning, and showing me how smart you are, let's see how far we can push since we're ahead of my schedule" (which is totally a lie...it is just good for them to feel like they are THAT smart sometimes. I'm still struggling with the enjoyment/ investment factor in my first class and my last class of the day. My 3 middle of the day classes and I have really started bonding and real work and effort is being put in by my students now too! Who knew?! My goal is to charm the hell out of 8C and 7C (first and last classes of the say) so that they want to come to my class when they're asleep or aching to go to football practice because I make it fun and interesting. Small steps, but i am determined to be successful in getting them to at least love learning enough to 1) come to class and 2) do thier work and 3) maybe learn enough to jump up from basic to proficient on the state end of course exam!
Overall, I am finally now truly enjoying some of my classes. I want to enjoy all of them equally, but then again...i teach in Marvell, not utopia. I'll keep teaching them all as they deserve...but i can't promise i won't have secret favorite periods. Oh! I'm also getting a guitar soon. I really really really have fallen hard for the blues and folk style music with modern twists...imma be a star! Or at least a tinker-er :)
Ciao, tutto mio amore
PS - Fellow 'Cuse kids. I'm visitng October 15th!
Ms. Poulin has finally gained control of her classes. Control beyond the "I said sit down and raise your hand" and onto "wow! you are all really learning, and showing me how smart you are, let's see how far we can push since we're ahead of my schedule" (which is totally a lie...it is just good for them to feel like they are THAT smart sometimes. I'm still struggling with the enjoyment/ investment factor in my first class and my last class of the day. My 3 middle of the day classes and I have really started bonding and real work and effort is being put in by my students now too! Who knew?! My goal is to charm the hell out of 8C and 7C (first and last classes of the say) so that they want to come to my class when they're asleep or aching to go to football practice because I make it fun and interesting. Small steps, but i am determined to be successful in getting them to at least love learning enough to 1) come to class and 2) do thier work and 3) maybe learn enough to jump up from basic to proficient on the state end of course exam!
Overall, I am finally now truly enjoying some of my classes. I want to enjoy all of them equally, but then again...i teach in Marvell, not utopia. I'll keep teaching them all as they deserve...but i can't promise i won't have secret favorite periods. Oh! I'm also getting a guitar soon. I really really really have fallen hard for the blues and folk style music with modern twists...imma be a star! Or at least a tinker-er :)
Ciao, tutto mio amore
PS - Fellow 'Cuse kids. I'm visitng October 15th!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
I cannot believe that an ENTIRE month has gone by since I last wrote on here. Sooooo very much has happened in that time, so I will do my best to keep this as short and succinct as possible to catch everyone up to speed. Two important things have happened since I last wrote and they are:
1) I experienced my first in-service training at my new school with veteran and new teachers.
2) I have been teaching for 11 days...
IN-SERVICE
This is training and education (health, stress management, classroom management, and stats about scores and places that need improvement, etc.)provided and mandated by the school district I teach in and in most districts. I enjoyed meeting the many faces and personalities that I am lucky to call my co-workers. I got a sense of the direction the superintendent wanted the district to head this year. And, I had my first real "Delta breakfast" during in-service. Never in my life did I think that I would look at a biscuit and a sausage patty and think, yeah that was really good. The kitchen ladies put some magic in those biscuits and some love on that patty because it was awesome...it was also insanely heavy...but still awesome. I've befriended a few fellow teachers "old" and "novice" as we are all called by our administration and i am happy to say that I feel comfortable and confident when I walk the halls to my classroom in the middle school wing.
11 Days so far
I survived the first two days. Correction: We (my students and I) survived the first two days together. Weekend. Monday-Friday of week 2 and my students slowly came out of their shells, I was able to assess their reading levels, set up big goals for my students to strive for, and class expectations for behavior and academic success. I love everyone one of my students. Sometimes that love comes easily, sometimes that love comes with a little more effort...but I LOVE THEM ALL because they are really great kids.
These great kids of mine, have been failed though. Failed by a system that they didn't know was working against them. Today I had conferences with students about their individual reading and writing levels and their goals for the year and their goals for next quarter. 2 students nearly burst into tears. 1 student denied that what I was telling her was the truth several students immediately invested themselves in their own learning and focus. Most other students took me seriously and took my advice and returned to the in-class assignment. Why are these great students of mine having such reactions? I teach 7th and 8th grade English? My class average reading level for 7th grade is a reading level of 3rd-4th grade. My 2 8th grade classes read on about a 4th grade level. I don't know who, I don't understand entirely how, but I do know this...my students have been failed, let down, dismissed, and not cared about enough my previous teachers. They have not been told honestly about their reading capabilities and they have been given tools to catch up or to succeed. I cannot save the world, i cannot get all my kids on grade level, but I'll be damned if a student of mine leaves in June and does not leave my classroom confident that they can make enormous gains, can read, and can push themselves harder than they've ever pushed before.
I, me, Ms. Poulin and invested in them and that is all I ever communicate to them. I'm not into frills and gimmicks to lure my kids into being invested in their education because I see things in the Delta like this. I am teaching in a low-income, high- region. People living below the poverty line are generally most concerned with 2 things: safety and having things taken from them. My investment strategy is simply this with my students. "I am going to give you something that no one can ever take from you. I have a car outside, if someone was feeling incredibly cruel...they could take it from me right? I have a purse...same case, right? Well, you know what no one can ever take from me? MY EDUCATION. In this class, in English this year I am going to give you the tools, knowledge and skills to develop your education. No one can ever take that from you. That is ENORMOUS control and POWER over yourself and your life. So class, when you come in, we work hard so we can educate ourselves and be something, somebody we're proud to be one day."
I also tell them to keep six feet on the floor at all times (chairs have 4 feet , they have 2...hahaha) because 1) i care about their safety in my class and 2) i don't have a broom in my room so, if they do fall over I'm not sweeping up the pile of student that lands all over my nice clean floor.
I got a little intense a few lines up, so I am going to rest here and say ciao! tutto mio amore (all my love) and I will be better about writing more often.
PS - every door in the school has "Success is our only option" above it because it is the new district wide slogan...yours truly is already making her mark on ol' Marvell, Arkansas ;)
1) I experienced my first in-service training at my new school with veteran and new teachers.
2) I have been teaching for 11 days...
IN-SERVICE
This is training and education (health, stress management, classroom management, and stats about scores and places that need improvement, etc.)provided and mandated by the school district I teach in and in most districts. I enjoyed meeting the many faces and personalities that I am lucky to call my co-workers. I got a sense of the direction the superintendent wanted the district to head this year. And, I had my first real "Delta breakfast" during in-service. Never in my life did I think that I would look at a biscuit and a sausage patty and think, yeah that was really good. The kitchen ladies put some magic in those biscuits and some love on that patty because it was awesome...it was also insanely heavy...but still awesome. I've befriended a few fellow teachers "old" and "novice" as we are all called by our administration and i am happy to say that I feel comfortable and confident when I walk the halls to my classroom in the middle school wing.
11 Days so far
I survived the first two days. Correction: We (my students and I) survived the first two days together. Weekend. Monday-Friday of week 2 and my students slowly came out of their shells, I was able to assess their reading levels, set up big goals for my students to strive for, and class expectations for behavior and academic success. I love everyone one of my students. Sometimes that love comes easily, sometimes that love comes with a little more effort...but I LOVE THEM ALL because they are really great kids.
These great kids of mine, have been failed though. Failed by a system that they didn't know was working against them. Today I had conferences with students about their individual reading and writing levels and their goals for the year and their goals for next quarter. 2 students nearly burst into tears. 1 student denied that what I was telling her was the truth several students immediately invested themselves in their own learning and focus. Most other students took me seriously and took my advice and returned to the in-class assignment. Why are these great students of mine having such reactions? I teach 7th and 8th grade English? My class average reading level for 7th grade is a reading level of 3rd-4th grade. My 2 8th grade classes read on about a 4th grade level. I don't know who, I don't understand entirely how, but I do know this...my students have been failed, let down, dismissed, and not cared about enough my previous teachers. They have not been told honestly about their reading capabilities and they have been given tools to catch up or to succeed. I cannot save the world, i cannot get all my kids on grade level, but I'll be damned if a student of mine leaves in June and does not leave my classroom confident that they can make enormous gains, can read, and can push themselves harder than they've ever pushed before.
I, me, Ms. Poulin and invested in them and that is all I ever communicate to them. I'm not into frills and gimmicks to lure my kids into being invested in their education because I see things in the Delta like this. I am teaching in a low-income, high- region. People living below the poverty line are generally most concerned with 2 things: safety and having things taken from them. My investment strategy is simply this with my students. "I am going to give you something that no one can ever take from you. I have a car outside, if someone was feeling incredibly cruel...they could take it from me right? I have a purse...same case, right? Well, you know what no one can ever take from me? MY EDUCATION. In this class, in English this year I am going to give you the tools, knowledge and skills to develop your education. No one can ever take that from you. That is ENORMOUS control and POWER over yourself and your life. So class, when you come in, we work hard so we can educate ourselves and be something, somebody we're proud to be one day."
I also tell them to keep six feet on the floor at all times (chairs have 4 feet , they have 2...hahaha) because 1) i care about their safety in my class and 2) i don't have a broom in my room so, if they do fall over I'm not sweeping up the pile of student that lands all over my nice clean floor.
I got a little intense a few lines up, so I am going to rest here and say ciao! tutto mio amore (all my love) and I will be better about writing more often.
PS - every door in the school has "Success is our only option" above it because it is the new district wide slogan...yours truly is already making her mark on ol' Marvell, Arkansas ;)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Unlit "highways," sticky, hot summer weather, 1,000+ miles away from the places and people love
ow that I am away from the Delta (currently on a brief visit out of state)and everything in the title, and left out by the limitations of the title, all i want to run back to it all. I am the proud resident of 5225 Moon Lake Road, Dundee, Mississippi 38626. This residency is actually a refinished barn located right on the Moon Lake! I have 4 lovely roommates, a dock, a portiocny (porch / patio / balcony), a garden and so much more to look forward to when I return to this new address of mine. I must admit, I am in a bit of a mixed state of emotions over all of this. I am so excited for the next 2 years, I am missing a lot about being a college student in New York, and I am missing the easy commute around my New England states to some of our country's most beautiful locations. What trips me up the most, it probably the fact that I really and in love with the fact that the unlit "highways" make me feel like a tiny speck of dust under the most enormous starry night sky. That I love the sticky, hot summer weather that still somehow does not deter my neighbors from making friends with my roommates and myself. That although I am 1,000+ miles away from the places and people love, I know I'll still be able to keep in touch and bring some of them to the Delta and a whole lot of the Delta and the people of the Delta back to these old familiar people and places in NY and New England.
There is a magic here, a certain mystery and excitement in the slow rhythm of life here. Admittedly the state of Mississippi (an many parts of the South) still has a lot that isn't so great (without naming specifics) ingrained in its culture, but there is just as much that is really great. When one is forced to life life a little slower, a little more organically, a little less reliant on technology, and a little bit rustically a lot is learned about the self. I have already learned so much. For example, I have learned how to kayak on my little Moon Lake in replacement of TV watching. I have learned how to "yes ma'am" my way around convincingly enough to make pleasant conversation with locals and even a few friends.
I've appreciated being in darkness and daylight in a whole new way. The nights are darker than anything I've ever seen...even darker than the inside of my eyelids I could swear. The brightest days are not blindingly bright, but bright enough to eradicate just about every shadow lurking about in the fields. The weather is both a chore and a blessing. Smooth, steady rhythms push their way through the thick air to make it into my ears and then don't stop until they are tapping on my soul. Sweating it out at an outdoor performance quickly becomes a labor of love, instead of an inconvenience at times like this. The many miles of space between myself and the many new friends I've made only makes the Delta feel smaller. I know this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but try to think of it this way. The Delta is said to have approximately 200+ mile radius. I know people who are living and teaching at the top, middle, and bottom of this area. Each town and community in the Delta is very similar, but secretly very different (only insider's who've paid their dues, warmed up to locals, or discovered for themselves know this). We all share via our generation's various technological gateways of communication positive negative and just pain silly experiences quite often. So, at the end of a weekend, I feel as though I have not only been all over the Delta, but I know what is going on where, with who, and why. Distance is only a limitation and a divider if you are willing to let it be. The Delta has already taught me this, too!
I am in solid like with the Delta, maybe on my way to love. If it wrote me a note asking me to prom, I'd for sure check yes though.
And, not because she requested it, but because I truly miss her and all of lovely witticisms and general outlook on life...LYNN I missssss youuuuuuu and I hope new apt. and YPFP are treating you well!
There is a magic here, a certain mystery and excitement in the slow rhythm of life here. Admittedly the state of Mississippi (an many parts of the South) still has a lot that isn't so great (without naming specifics) ingrained in its culture, but there is just as much that is really great. When one is forced to life life a little slower, a little more organically, a little less reliant on technology, and a little bit rustically a lot is learned about the self. I have already learned so much. For example, I have learned how to kayak on my little Moon Lake in replacement of TV watching. I have learned how to "yes ma'am" my way around convincingly enough to make pleasant conversation with locals and even a few friends.
I've appreciated being in darkness and daylight in a whole new way. The nights are darker than anything I've ever seen...even darker than the inside of my eyelids I could swear. The brightest days are not blindingly bright, but bright enough to eradicate just about every shadow lurking about in the fields. The weather is both a chore and a blessing. Smooth, steady rhythms push their way through the thick air to make it into my ears and then don't stop until they are tapping on my soul. Sweating it out at an outdoor performance quickly becomes a labor of love, instead of an inconvenience at times like this. The many miles of space between myself and the many new friends I've made only makes the Delta feel smaller. I know this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but try to think of it this way. The Delta is said to have approximately 200+ mile radius. I know people who are living and teaching at the top, middle, and bottom of this area. Each town and community in the Delta is very similar, but secretly very different (only insider's who've paid their dues, warmed up to locals, or discovered for themselves know this). We all share via our generation's various technological gateways of communication positive negative and just pain silly experiences quite often. So, at the end of a weekend, I feel as though I have not only been all over the Delta, but I know what is going on where, with who, and why. Distance is only a limitation and a divider if you are willing to let it be. The Delta has already taught me this, too!
I am in solid like with the Delta, maybe on my way to love. If it wrote me a note asking me to prom, I'd for sure check yes though.
And, not because she requested it, but because I truly miss her and all of lovely witticisms and general outlook on life...LYNN I missssss youuuuuuu and I hope new apt. and YPFP are treating you well!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Institute, check. Orientation part I, check...now?
Well, i'll keep this one short because I am tired and still trying to give my body the rest it needs to i can be at my best for when the official start to the school year comes in a few weeks!
1) I am going to be a proud English teacher for Marvell (in Marvell, Arkansas) Public's 7th and 8th graders this year.
2) I live at 5225 Moon Lake Road, Dundee, Mississippi 38626 (pretty sure that's the correct zip code...still getting used to it)
3) I survived institute (and 2 days of fairly moderately paced orientation to my specific content of teaching )and have realized...as of this morning that those 5 weeks changed me for the better and quite dramatically.
i "survived" because the schedule remained as i previously described for all 5 weeks of summer training institute. i did, however, manage to learn a great deal about TFA, the job I've signed up for, and myself as a person and a professional.
I am proud that i did well, but i am dismayed by my failures as well. My 6th grade class this summer did really well overall and made tremendous gains in their education 5 out of our 16 students met their ambitious reading goals and a few more than that made their math goals too! I am very proud of these students they are representations of my hard work paying off. To the same token, I feel dismayed and frustrated because not all my students made their goals. They made growth, which is comforting, but I cannot help but still focus on how i could have done better by them. In the end, what's done is done, and I will take the lessons and memories of this extremely difficult summer with me as i move into my year long placement at Marvell public this fall semester.
Pictures of the moon barn (my house is really a barn that has been remodeled for human living!) very soon. Pictures of the classroom soon too, hopefully!
Now?...well, now I prep for my room with big goals, long term plans, a first unit plan and assessment, and general class room poster making..lesson planning, etc etc. ahh the life of a first year teacher. I'm lucky to have the lake and a kayak to de-stress with from time to time.
Next post...hopefully in a week or so, will be on the Delta itself and my growing affection for this region. This proud New Englander still surprises herself sometimes at how much she likes it here and how well she does just about anywhere once she finds a few quality people! :0
PS- JENNI I misssssss youuuuu!!!
1) I am going to be a proud English teacher for Marvell (in Marvell, Arkansas) Public's 7th and 8th graders this year.
2) I live at 5225 Moon Lake Road, Dundee, Mississippi 38626 (pretty sure that's the correct zip code...still getting used to it)
3) I survived institute (and 2 days of fairly moderately paced orientation to my specific content of teaching )and have realized...as of this morning that those 5 weeks changed me for the better and quite dramatically.
i "survived" because the schedule remained as i previously described for all 5 weeks of summer training institute. i did, however, manage to learn a great deal about TFA, the job I've signed up for, and myself as a person and a professional.
I am proud that i did well, but i am dismayed by my failures as well. My 6th grade class this summer did really well overall and made tremendous gains in their education 5 out of our 16 students met their ambitious reading goals and a few more than that made their math goals too! I am very proud of these students they are representations of my hard work paying off. To the same token, I feel dismayed and frustrated because not all my students made their goals. They made growth, which is comforting, but I cannot help but still focus on how i could have done better by them. In the end, what's done is done, and I will take the lessons and memories of this extremely difficult summer with me as i move into my year long placement at Marvell public this fall semester.
Pictures of the moon barn (my house is really a barn that has been remodeled for human living!) very soon. Pictures of the classroom soon too, hopefully!
Now?...well, now I prep for my room with big goals, long term plans, a first unit plan and assessment, and general class room poster making..lesson planning, etc etc. ahh the life of a first year teacher. I'm lucky to have the lake and a kayak to de-stress with from time to time.
Next post...hopefully in a week or so, will be on the Delta itself and my growing affection for this region. This proud New Englander still surprises herself sometimes at how much she likes it here and how well she does just about anywhere once she finds a few quality people! :0
PS- JENNI I misssssss youuuuu!!!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
TENTATIVE PLACEMENT!
Tentative...means tentative, but doesn't mean I can't be excited about possibilities!!
I am currently tentatively placed in Marvell, Arkansas as an upper middle school reading teacher. The entire school district is 1000 kids from tiny tots to high school. I am so excited just to be placed, but also at the idea of being in a place where I can make huge ripples...if not a splash in the water.
Google it. I'll update soon. For now, simply join me in the fun daydream musings of what could lie ahead for me! :)
I am currently tentatively placed in Marvell, Arkansas as an upper middle school reading teacher. The entire school district is 1000 kids from tiny tots to high school. I am so excited just to be placed, but also at the idea of being in a place where I can make huge ripples...if not a splash in the water.
Google it. I'll update soon. For now, simply join me in the fun daydream musings of what could lie ahead for me! :)
Saturday, June 26, 2010
I'm a teacher....say whaaat?!
OK, so today is Saturday June 26, 2010...I feel like it is Saturday, June 26, 2020. The reason for this is simply due to the sheer amount of WORK (yes in all caps) that I have done this week. I am not going to complain...although i have been guilty of this in the wee hours of the morning (thanks to Jane Wu for being a champ and laughing at me so i know to check myself about what is important and the reason why I am up in the first place) but I am going to inform.
Last week, we all had the same schedule...minus the actual children/students. The addition of real students this week makes everything all the more stressful and all the more rewarding. I stress out because I know that my actions, preparedness, and mood will all directly affect each everyone on of them. I want to be the best teacher-ashley I can be for them, so i stress more than I would normally when just turning in work that is about nameless, faceless students. Its a similar feeling to hearing about a disaster on the news, and then, you happen to drive by the disaster or see it from an airplane...and your heart sinks so deep that you think your other organs will never be able to push it back up to where it belongs again. That is how seeing scores, hearing about previous experiences with "regular" (simply meaning the teachers students have during the year) teachers, and learning about what life is for my students outside the classroom felt for the first few days.
I get up every morning a 4:45. Toss on some pre-laid out professional clothes, grab a bagel, pack a lunch, and find a seat on the bus for an hour long drive to Greenville -Weston High school in Greenville, MS. I get off the bus and I am running (maybe not always physically) all day. After signing in for the day I re-read my lesson plan, think about execution, help my collab (partner in crime...and the classroom set up for her lesson and to clean off desks from the afternoon before, or I'll grade some assessments from my lesson the day before and enter them in the tracker. Then off to a TFA session to learn about lesson planning / classroom management / how to invest students and parents / how to balance it all / how to interact with students so you know if they are learning...kind if a huge reason we are all here! and many other things. 45 minutes of "flex time" is used by to re-read my lesson and walk through it in my head, then I use the rest room because it is go time come 9:45...I do not stop until 1pm. I've shared this because it is so important to me. haha. 9:45 I head to my classroom and my collab and I share an hour of instructional time with our class to focus on math (what i teach currently, last 2 weeks i teach reading!) and reading areas that are weak and need attention.
Pause: I'm teaching 6th grade students...about 18 of them. First 2 weeks = math, next 2 weeks = reading and word study. Just realized that was not make clear. Apologies.
Resume: After this hour....I'm the all-star and it's math time. 45 minutes of lesson, lunch, 45 minutes of lesson. Dismissal at 1pm. then two more TFA sessions. bus leaves at 4:15 ...return to greenville for 5:30. Eat, change, pack, head to student union for remainder of night (unless there is another TFA session...usually on literacy and/or how to administer a diagnostic test). I finalize the lesson for the next day and write a draft or two or three (depending on what is due) for 3-4 days ahead. Then I write up an assessment for the next day's lesson, a worksheet, some guided notes. (Print lab and copy center = more valuable than gold and influence, closes at 12pm sharp) so I race the clock to get this all done at 11:40 so i can get in line early enough to make it in to either resource room by midnight. I head back to the cave...shower...set an alarm...pass out hopefully by 1am. Up again at 4:45am the next "day".
I've shared this ridiculous outline of a A SINGLE day so that 1) you would all know that I am not slighting any of you by not texting, calling, emailing etc etc. I literally have barely enough time to make sure i eat every day. I am not complaining though...just informing.
In fact, I probably won't ever complain and it is all because of this "aha" moment that I had Friday morning. I was grading the assessments from Thursday's math lesson and my class had about 70 % mastery of the objectives. My lesson on Tuesday was around 40% (that might be too generous to myself). My heart swelled with pride and with joy. Pride for my students who were learning and showing themselves that they can be successful and joy at the fact that I actually am able to shape another human being for the better. I might not reach all of my extremely high goals for myself this summer, but I will feel successful as more and more students master new math objectives. I am learning here. I am making a difference in lives...lives i get to learn about... be a part of... and will hope with all of my being will be successful in the their upcoming school year thanks to the leaps they made this summer.
In sum, I am seeing and feeling a sliver of the impact that TFA teachers make across our great country everyday and I am honored, privileged, and stoked to be a part of something HUGE!!
Before I part, 2 tidbits of happiness to share:
1) Friday my students were on task (as they almost always are...my collab and I made it clear that we are not to be messed with...but we are there for hard work..and play if and only if the work gets done and done well!) but, they are always so focused that the TFA staff requested permission to tape them working and my collab and myself managing them and working during the hour we spend together everyday! I got goosebumps...I was so proud of myself, my collab, and my students for getting beyond the hard part of new faces coming together and learning about each other in our first week, and just getting down to the nitty gritty and churning out some work!
ps - they were even more amazing during the taping!
2) After the taping, a few girls were asked about their experience in our class so far and about what some of the rules and inspirational stuff we had up was all about. Of all that they shared, this quote hit me the most and was actually posted by my higher-up for all to see, "I like my teachers more than my regular teachers during the school year. I'm learning a lot and they make me feel like it is OK to get things wrong and to ask questions." Go ahead and try to tell me that wouldn't melt your heart all over the place, too.
I still don't know if teaching as a life-long career path will be it for me, but i do know now that I only feel alive when I am making a difference and helping others better themselves while they force me to better myself. I will certainly find a path that allows me to work hard, make a difference for others, and brings me this "alive" feeling every single day.
A rising tide raises all ships.
Last week, we all had the same schedule...minus the actual children/students. The addition of real students this week makes everything all the more stressful and all the more rewarding. I stress out because I know that my actions, preparedness, and mood will all directly affect each everyone on of them. I want to be the best teacher-ashley I can be for them, so i stress more than I would normally when just turning in work that is about nameless, faceless students. Its a similar feeling to hearing about a disaster on the news, and then, you happen to drive by the disaster or see it from an airplane...and your heart sinks so deep that you think your other organs will never be able to push it back up to where it belongs again. That is how seeing scores, hearing about previous experiences with "regular" (simply meaning the teachers students have during the year) teachers, and learning about what life is for my students outside the classroom felt for the first few days.
I get up every morning a 4:45. Toss on some pre-laid out professional clothes, grab a bagel, pack a lunch, and find a seat on the bus for an hour long drive to Greenville -Weston High school in Greenville, MS. I get off the bus and I am running (maybe not always physically) all day. After signing in for the day I re-read my lesson plan, think about execution, help my collab (partner in crime...and the classroom set up for her lesson and to clean off desks from the afternoon before, or I'll grade some assessments from my lesson the day before and enter them in the tracker. Then off to a TFA session to learn about lesson planning / classroom management / how to invest students and parents / how to balance it all / how to interact with students so you know if they are learning...kind if a huge reason we are all here! and many other things. 45 minutes of "flex time" is used by to re-read my lesson and walk through it in my head, then I use the rest room because it is go time come 9:45...I do not stop until 1pm. I've shared this because it is so important to me. haha. 9:45 I head to my classroom and my collab and I share an hour of instructional time with our class to focus on math (what i teach currently, last 2 weeks i teach reading!) and reading areas that are weak and need attention.
Pause: I'm teaching 6th grade students...about 18 of them. First 2 weeks = math, next 2 weeks = reading and word study. Just realized that was not make clear. Apologies.
Resume: After this hour....I'm the all-star and it's math time. 45 minutes of lesson, lunch, 45 minutes of lesson. Dismissal at 1pm. then two more TFA sessions. bus leaves at 4:15 ...return to greenville for 5:30. Eat, change, pack, head to student union for remainder of night (unless there is another TFA session...usually on literacy and/or how to administer a diagnostic test). I finalize the lesson for the next day and write a draft or two or three (depending on what is due) for 3-4 days ahead. Then I write up an assessment for the next day's lesson, a worksheet, some guided notes. (Print lab and copy center = more valuable than gold and influence, closes at 12pm sharp) so I race the clock to get this all done at 11:40 so i can get in line early enough to make it in to either resource room by midnight. I head back to the cave...shower...set an alarm...pass out hopefully by 1am. Up again at 4:45am the next "day".
I've shared this ridiculous outline of a A SINGLE day so that 1) you would all know that I am not slighting any of you by not texting, calling, emailing etc etc. I literally have barely enough time to make sure i eat every day. I am not complaining though...just informing.
In fact, I probably won't ever complain and it is all because of this "aha" moment that I had Friday morning. I was grading the assessments from Thursday's math lesson and my class had about 70 % mastery of the objectives. My lesson on Tuesday was around 40% (that might be too generous to myself). My heart swelled with pride and with joy. Pride for my students who were learning and showing themselves that they can be successful and joy at the fact that I actually am able to shape another human being for the better. I might not reach all of my extremely high goals for myself this summer, but I will feel successful as more and more students master new math objectives. I am learning here. I am making a difference in lives...lives i get to learn about... be a part of... and will hope with all of my being will be successful in the their upcoming school year thanks to the leaps they made this summer.
In sum, I am seeing and feeling a sliver of the impact that TFA teachers make across our great country everyday and I am honored, privileged, and stoked to be a part of something HUGE!!
Before I part, 2 tidbits of happiness to share:
1) Friday my students were on task (as they almost always are...my collab and I made it clear that we are not to be messed with...but we are there for hard work..and play if and only if the work gets done and done well!) but, they are always so focused that the TFA staff requested permission to tape them working and my collab and myself managing them and working during the hour we spend together everyday! I got goosebumps...I was so proud of myself, my collab, and my students for getting beyond the hard part of new faces coming together and learning about each other in our first week, and just getting down to the nitty gritty and churning out some work!
ps - they were even more amazing during the taping!
2) After the taping, a few girls were asked about their experience in our class so far and about what some of the rules and inspirational stuff we had up was all about. Of all that they shared, this quote hit me the most and was actually posted by my higher-up for all to see, "I like my teachers more than my regular teachers during the school year. I'm learning a lot and they make me feel like it is OK to get things wrong and to ask questions." Go ahead and try to tell me that wouldn't melt your heart all over the place, too.
I still don't know if teaching as a life-long career path will be it for me, but i do know now that I only feel alive when I am making a difference and helping others better themselves while they force me to better myself. I will certainly find a path that allows me to work hard, make a difference for others, and brings me this "alive" feeling every single day.
A rising tide raises all ships.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I'm starting to understand this place / Catfish Fry!
Last night the entire TFA Delta Corps was invited to attend a Catfish Fry in the community of Greenville (30 minute drive south from Cleveland/ DSU) right on the bank of the Mississippi River. The "fry" was a welcome and a celebration in our honor, as well as a way for us to celebrate and learn a bit more about another area of the Delta via some native cuisine, conversation with some locals, and simply taking in the new surroundings.
From the very moment I stepped out of the car, I was melting...literally. The heat index was somewhere around the high 90s WITH humidity. Everyone, including myself, sucked it up found some shade and put a smile on because this event was truly a warm welcome with the best of intentions despite the sweltering outdoor venue. I grabbed an ice cold soda and a few strips of catfish dabbed with some hot sauce and lemon juice, some coleslaw (or just "slaw"), and a scoop of southern-style baked beans. As I was eating the spicy tangy, salty fried catfish in alternating bites with the barely still cool coleslaw, it hit me. This is just one of the many reasons Southern folks relly do like to take things slowly. I wanted to savor every bite of that soul food. Flavors were intense, but subtle, but new, and somehow familiar. It all just made sense in that moment. Sitting with the river nearly 50 feet way, the sun scorching down, the blues band playing a steady rhythm to match the mood f all in attendance, and a slight breeze offering a little relief I found myself in an almost euphoric state. I was so happy in the purest sense of that word--happy--while having that experience. I felt no need to rush to the next thing on my to-do list. I felt no pressure to call, text, email etc. anyone. I felt no pressure at all. Perhaps, in the few hours that I was able to truly let go of my typical frenetically paced self, I was able to feel a bit of the heartbeat of the South and what makes the Delta captivating to so many people.
I still love the upper northeast. I miss NY and NH everyday. However, I just may let myself love the Delta too.
From the very moment I stepped out of the car, I was melting...literally. The heat index was somewhere around the high 90s WITH humidity. Everyone, including myself, sucked it up found some shade and put a smile on because this event was truly a warm welcome with the best of intentions despite the sweltering outdoor venue. I grabbed an ice cold soda and a few strips of catfish dabbed with some hot sauce and lemon juice, some coleslaw (or just "slaw"), and a scoop of southern-style baked beans. As I was eating the spicy tangy, salty fried catfish in alternating bites with the barely still cool coleslaw, it hit me. This is just one of the many reasons Southern folks relly do like to take things slowly. I wanted to savor every bite of that soul food. Flavors were intense, but subtle, but new, and somehow familiar. It all just made sense in that moment. Sitting with the river nearly 50 feet way, the sun scorching down, the blues band playing a steady rhythm to match the mood f all in attendance, and a slight breeze offering a little relief I found myself in an almost euphoric state. I was so happy in the purest sense of that word--happy--while having that experience. I felt no need to rush to the next thing on my to-do list. I felt no pressure to call, text, email etc. anyone. I felt no pressure at all. Perhaps, in the few hours that I was able to truly let go of my typical frenetically paced self, I was able to feel a bit of the heartbeat of the South and what makes the Delta captivating to so many people.
I still love the upper northeast. I miss NY and NH everyday. However, I just may let myself love the Delta too.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The "firsts" so far...
First...my address for all who have requested.
Ashley L. Poulin / Corps Member
c/o Teach For America (Mississippi Delta)
Delta State University
Box B4
1003 West Sunflower Road
Cleveland, MS 38733
**ONLY GOOD THROUGH JULY 23rd!!!***
First impression while driving (with Dad for 24+ hours over 2 days - thank you by the way so much for not letting me do that alone!!) into the Delta Region:
**quickly...The "Delta" is actually the region that surrounds the Mississippi river in the northwest of Mississippi AND the northeast of Arkansas because the river serves as the political/geographical border between the two states. The region itself is about 200 miles in radius, but is very small and tightly knit as any other small rural town would be despite the great distances between villages and towns.***
Ok, so back to focusing. The Delta is GORGEOUS. Lush green fields of rice, cotton, and corn cover every inch of land for miles and miles and a few trees break up the bright green monotony. I am not used to such flat land at all; life in NH, 3 years in Syracuse; and a semester in Florence / DC were not flat at all...so I feel lazy walking everywhere. My calf muscles are already taking a hit from the lack of grade in the landscape. Cleveland, the "city"and DSU (Delta State University, the school that i am staying at while I'm training all summer) are sweet, small, hot as can be and populated with some of the most incredibly warm people I have ever met in my life. I think some of the local southern hospitality is rubbing off on myself and other Corps Members because my fellow TFA teachers have all been very warm, out-going, and friendly.
First Impressions of TFA Staff, '09 CMs and other new CMs:
I was joking the first few hours, while unpacking, that I felt like a college freshman all over again I'm living in a dorm...an open-double...I am expected to eat at scheduled dining hall hours and I have been repeating the same "Hi, I'm Ashley. I'm from NH. Yes, it was a long drive. I went to Syracuse University in Upstate New York. I studied History and International Relations. I am going to be teaching High School English. How about you? *insert gasp for breath*" over and over again. After dinner last night and breakfast this morning, I have discovered something that is already changing my take on this whole induction/institute training thing I am partaking in this summer. I am now surrounded by people who are VERY similar to me. (Those of you who know me better than others, hold your tongues and let me finish explaining!) For probably the first and only time in my life, I am surround by people my age that all want to be here, are highly motivated, intelligent, and out-going leaders who are interested in "an opportunity of a life time to give back, learn a lot about a new place and make an impact where they're really needed. We all feel as though we've known each other for a lifetime and it has barely been 24 hours since everyone first arrived.
Also...roommate = awesome and super relaxed personality. We are going to do quite well together. :D Her name is Meghan...just in case I reference her with out putting her into context later or in another post.
First impressions of the process andTFA on a national scale:
By "the process," I simply mean the summer and how it is going to go. I am most impressed with the precise organization of the staff and the constant feedback that is sought from us after each session for the betterment of the following generation of incoming CMs. I do not feel lost, like just a number (there are 300 of us now...Monday another 500 or so arrive from other regions just for training), and I am really enjoying the fact that there is always something to be doing...even if that is recovering from a 6:30am wake-up call from mr. smell phone alarm clock.
TFA, on a national scale, is what we were educated on...and more interestingly and importantly, how we each fit into the broad mission and goals of the organization. To keep this part short and concise, I will simply say that TFA is working ona revolution of change. The "achievement gap" that exists in this country needs to be fixed and is going to be fixed. I give it 10-15 years max and the American public school system will finally be competing on par with the Far Eastern and European models of K-12 education. I am proud to be a part of lifting our country's standards and citizens up to these high standards. Here, as a TFA CM, I feel as though I am investing in my fellow citizens for a better nation, a richer culture, and a prouder people.
All in all, I am as happy as a daisy in the sun here. I am meeting excellent people. I am melting away slowly in the heat, but sticking it out for my first ever green winter. I am going to make a difference and I can feel it already. Ho fuoco nelle mie viene is an Italian saying that translates to I have fire in my veins. More than ever this statement holds to true to the fire in my belly after today, as well as the kind of teacher and person I am going to develop within myself to be the best CM I can possibly be...one with fire, poise, passion and drive. I am so excited. Bring it on Mississippi Delta.
Bring. It. On!!
Also... I am developing a professional career, so please bear in mind that it is entirely possible that a future principal, or fellow teacher, or TFA staff member will find this and read this, so please comment with respect. :) Thanks and love!
Ashley L. Poulin / Corps Member
c/o Teach For America (Mississippi Delta)
Delta State University
Box B4
1003 West Sunflower Road
Cleveland, MS 38733
**ONLY GOOD THROUGH JULY 23rd!!!***
First impression while driving (with Dad for 24+ hours over 2 days - thank you by the way so much for not letting me do that alone!!) into the Delta Region:
**quickly...The "Delta" is actually the region that surrounds the Mississippi river in the northwest of Mississippi AND the northeast of Arkansas because the river serves as the political/geographical border between the two states. The region itself is about 200 miles in radius, but is very small and tightly knit as any other small rural town would be despite the great distances between villages and towns.***
Ok, so back to focusing. The Delta is GORGEOUS. Lush green fields of rice, cotton, and corn cover every inch of land for miles and miles and a few trees break up the bright green monotony. I am not used to such flat land at all; life in NH, 3 years in Syracuse; and a semester in Florence / DC were not flat at all...so I feel lazy walking everywhere. My calf muscles are already taking a hit from the lack of grade in the landscape. Cleveland, the "city"and DSU (Delta State University, the school that i am staying at while I'm training all summer) are sweet, small, hot as can be and populated with some of the most incredibly warm people I have ever met in my life. I think some of the local southern hospitality is rubbing off on myself and other Corps Members because my fellow TFA teachers have all been very warm, out-going, and friendly.
First Impressions of TFA Staff, '09 CMs and other new CMs:
I was joking the first few hours, while unpacking, that I felt like a college freshman all over again I'm living in a dorm...an open-double...I am expected to eat at scheduled dining hall hours and I have been repeating the same "Hi, I'm Ashley. I'm from NH. Yes, it was a long drive. I went to Syracuse University in Upstate New York. I studied History and International Relations. I am going to be teaching High School English. How about you? *insert gasp for breath*" over and over again. After dinner last night and breakfast this morning, I have discovered something that is already changing my take on this whole induction/institute training thing I am partaking in this summer. I am now surrounded by people who are VERY similar to me. (Those of you who know me better than others, hold your tongues and let me finish explaining!) For probably the first and only time in my life, I am surround by people my age that all want to be here, are highly motivated, intelligent, and out-going leaders who are interested in "an opportunity of a life time to give back, learn a lot about a new place and make an impact where they're really needed. We all feel as though we've known each other for a lifetime and it has barely been 24 hours since everyone first arrived.
Also...roommate = awesome and super relaxed personality. We are going to do quite well together. :D Her name is Meghan...just in case I reference her with out putting her into context later or in another post.
First impressions of the process andTFA on a national scale:
By "the process," I simply mean the summer and how it is going to go. I am most impressed with the precise organization of the staff and the constant feedback that is sought from us after each session for the betterment of the following generation of incoming CMs. I do not feel lost, like just a number (there are 300 of us now...Monday another 500 or so arrive from other regions just for training), and I am really enjoying the fact that there is always something to be doing...even if that is recovering from a 6:30am wake-up call from mr. smell phone alarm clock.
TFA, on a national scale, is what we were educated on...and more interestingly and importantly, how we each fit into the broad mission and goals of the organization. To keep this part short and concise, I will simply say that TFA is working ona revolution of change. The "achievement gap" that exists in this country needs to be fixed and is going to be fixed. I give it 10-15 years max and the American public school system will finally be competing on par with the Far Eastern and European models of K-12 education. I am proud to be a part of lifting our country's standards and citizens up to these high standards. Here, as a TFA CM, I feel as though I am investing in my fellow citizens for a better nation, a richer culture, and a prouder people.
All in all, I am as happy as a daisy in the sun here. I am meeting excellent people. I am melting away slowly in the heat, but sticking it out for my first ever green winter. I am going to make a difference and I can feel it already. Ho fuoco nelle mie viene is an Italian saying that translates to I have fire in my veins. More than ever this statement holds to true to the fire in my belly after today, as well as the kind of teacher and person I am going to develop within myself to be the best CM I can possibly be...one with fire, poise, passion and drive. I am so excited. Bring it on Mississippi Delta.
Bring. It. On!!
Also... I am developing a professional career, so please bear in mind that it is entirely possible that a future principal, or fellow teacher, or TFA staff member will find this and read this, so please comment with respect. :) Thanks and love!
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